Ponedeljak, Avgust 13, 2018

162. dan

Osmog dana je bio moj rodjendan. Bilo je mračno tad, i hladno. Kao da sam se prerano probudila, ali je izgledalo kao plemenit poziv sa posebnom molbom i zahtevom. I taj utisak me je pratio do kraja. 16. dana sam mogla osetiti dodir, zemlje, vode, ponekad i dašak promaje izazvan kretanjem u blizini. 28. dana sam shvatila da nisam sama, bilo je i drugih oko mene koji su se tek budili. Bilo je olakšanje znati da postoji još neko sličan na ovom mestu, i ko traži svrhu u čudesnom svetu. Ali moje druženje i upoznavanje nije trajalo dugo, većina njih su nestali 51. dana. I sve je postalo opet nekako pusto i tudje. Sve dok nisam počela da osećam, tačnije, da vidim svet novim čulom. Bilo je to 58. dana, videla sam boje, slike u kretanju, uglove svetlosti i senki, i kako se velika senka smenjuje sa velikim svetlom. Zatim vibracije zvukova, blizinu i daljinu, i glasove. Mogla sam razumeti šta drugi govore oko mene, a i ja sam takodje njima mogla reći svoje misli. Naučila sam dosta od tada: reči, brojanje, razne veštine u prikupljanju hrane. I od 69. dana sve je krenulo ubrzano da se menja i razvija. Svetlost je bila jača, više hrane, više vode, novi ukusi i osećaji. Onda sam otkrila drugo prisustvo,... biće vezano za onaj utisak u meni. Mogu reći da je ranije izgledao kao san, ali sada mogu jasno da razdvojim san i javu, i znam kad je blizu meni. Ali odmah zatim sve se opet preokrenulo, bilo je to 72. dana. Prešla sam u potpuno novi svet. Prvo me je zanemelo prostranstvo iznad mene, a zatim ogromna buka glasova sa svih strana,... nisam mogla da prihvatim toliko odjednom. Proudila sam se sledećeg jutra umivena sitnim kapljicama sa umiljatim zrakom na meni. Bilo je tiho, i harmonija medjusobnog postojanja je bila razumnija. Bilo je potrebno nekoliko dana da steknem rutinu i upoznam većinu novih bića. 96. dana sam dobila svoje konačno mesto pod suncem, i osetila puls brižne majke na zemlji. Od 100. dana sve je dobijalo više smisla, kao da sam pronašla svoje utočište, medju svojom vrstom, baš gde bi trebala biti. A najbolje od svega je upravo zabava, ples, igra i ljubav, i na kraju dana zanosni prelaz u drugi svet potčinjena blistavim mračnim nebom. 106. dana je bilo ljuto nebo, besneo je vetar, voda je tekla sa svih strana, izgledalo je kao kraj svega. Ali već 107. dana sunce se opet pojavilo. I uvek se vrati,... to bar pomislim kad god je nebo bilo teško. Kad je 121. dana sunce bilo nemilosrdno, pojavilo se ponovo moje snovidjenje i dozvalo vodu na sušnoj zemlji. Ne znam,... ali ta pojava mi je uvek donosila nespokoj, i strahopoštovanje istovremeno. 143. dana ponovo se pojavilo, mogla sam osetiti da je isto biće samo okruženo drugom energijom. Bilo je ogrnuto tmurnim svodom kao nebo, a tad nikad ne dolazi. Mislim da sam polako shvatala smisao vremena gledajući 150. dana sunce koje se probijalo u daljini kroz drveće. Kao da se bližilo ispunjenje moje svrhe, vreme je prolazilo drugačije i ja sam znala razlog svog postojanja. Postala sam jedno sa svojom opsenom. Tako da,... evo me ovde sada, na 162. danu. I drago mi je da sam nekom ispričala svoju priču :)

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